september 15th 2014

actually had a good day today, got to make dream catchers w my friends and i haven’t had fun with friends in a long time, it felt really nice to be able to just hang around although i am missing my cuddles from my babe :( hope i can see him soon

september 14th 2014

i hate when my family comments on my weight. it’s really hard for me to start liking my body and getting used to it, and feeling comfortable with the way i look then having to see my family and them make comments about it and about my eating habits. can you pls not

september 12th 2014 

well this hurts, a lot. guess im not good enough OR pretty enough for you. i cant do anything right for you. alright why do i bother

september 11th 2014 

self reminder: go back to keeping just about everything to yourself.

august 25th 2014

well i had a good day today at the first day of welcome week. i made some new friends, and it actually felt nice. i think im gonna like school. but im still sad and im unsure what to do, i don’t wanna be annoying so i’ll just leave it up to you, this sucks :/

august 24th 2014

why do i feel like im fucking everything up unintentionally? i mean well, i really do, i just care & want everything to be ok bc most things in my life aren’t. i know i can be annoying, i just want things to be happy & lovey (obviously not all the time), and i feel like they’re starting not to be.. sometimes i just miss the little things that mean the most, not that i don’t appreciate all i have now. it’s like i feel like things are great, but then i feel a hint of doubt through something stupid and little and i get worried that the feeling isn’t mutual anymore. idk it’s complicated.. im complicated. always have been, guess i always will be. and i guess i just gotta take a step back. now im really sad 😔

august 24th 2014

beyond nervous about orientation tomorrow because im still swollen and in pain. for one thing, people are going to want to take pictures, and i cant even fucking smile right so im going to feel like an idiot and all self conscious.. then another thing, im gonna be walking around all day in pain with a swollen mouth, and having to do things all day. i get tired just going to fucking walmart. im just really scared and i wouldn’t be this nervous if i didn’t just have my frickin wisdom teeth taken out. i feel so stupid :/

august 23rd 2014

i tried to have a good day today. and i did. i finally got out of the house, watched a movie w my boy & got to cuddle. but, today is my grandpas birthday, er would’ve been. and i saw me wishing him a happy birthday on my timehop this morning and it upset me. sometimes i really hope that he’s proud of me and all that im doing & trying to accomplish. and sometimes im afraid he’s looking down on me, just as the rest of the family is and is ashamed of me, and thinks im this terrible kid. i just really wish he were here, bc sometimes i feel like he would be proud of me & be the only one to support me in my family. i just hope he understands that I’m really trying, and i just want myself to be enough for everyone, including him. but happy birthday poppy, rest easy up there, hope you had a great day, and I’ll continue to try my best to make you proud ❤️👼

august 22nd 2014

im so anxious im crawling out of my skin. im sick of being alone at my house, but i cant leave bc i don’t feel well. im sick of the swollen sore mouth pains and headaches. im so sick of feeling like im having a heart attack from anxiety :( i just want this whole wisdom teeth thing to be over with :(

august 20th 2014

sad again, just feeling worthless :( i hate getting into these moods :(